Brown Pundits ? What is happening to the Indian Joint Family?

Posted By Zachary Latif on July 31, 2012

A depressing article in Indian Ink about Indian Elders being neglected and the joint family system breaking down. How soon before Pakistan follows; already among the middle class BritPaks the traditional joint family is no longer the dominant model (ironically either the wealthy & poor BritPaks will still live with their elders). How long is it before nursing homes become a booming industry in the Subcontinent?

Bangalore?s Seniors Head to Work as ?Traditional Indian Family? Dissolves

This generation on the cusp of great change has not programmed their retirement finances properly, said Dr. Radha Murthy, an elder care pioneer and medical practitioner, whose nonprofit Nightingales Medical Trust organized the job fair. It is the first age band wedged between the traditional and the rapidly westernizing.

Ms. Rao has five children, all married, and lives in the home of her oldest daughter, a bank employee. There, Ms. Rao has gradually become confined to two rooms at the back of the house, she said. She cooks for herself and has very little independence. For instance, to listen to music she must wear headphones so as to not disturb the family.

Ms. Rao knows many others in the same boat. Across the street is an older neighbor who pines for the affections of her son who works in the United States.

?Young people these days are arrogant because they earn big money. They are only interested in themselves,? rued Ms. Rao.

The large Indian family has all but disappeared, and the pressures of urban living are being felt in nuclear families, says Ashok Dey, chief executive of an upscale retirement community called Suvidha in the suburbs of Bangalore.

Dr. Murthy said, ?It is an India where kids no longer want to spend the summer with the grandparents; they would rather spend it at Disneyland.?

Until he retired recently, V. Mohan, 64, worked for three decades for a single employer, a university. That day at the fair, Mr. Mohan was not looking for a white-collar job. He was willing to settle for any type of work, he said.

His 6,000-rupee rent ($108) is eating into his 10,000-rupee ($180) pension, and that has made him desperate.

Of Mr. Mohan?s two children, one daughter has recently married and lives with her husband.?He is supporting the other as she finishes up her Ph.D.?Mr. Mohan insists that he does not want her money when she starts working.

?The future is scary as there is no dignity for elders in the family, no importance to their ideas,? she said.

Yet neither Ms. Rao nor Mr. Mohan made the cut.

We probably need to train family therapists or counsellors to help families stay together and preserve the?inter-generational?harmony. As I see it the three make or breaks for a family is sex, money and religion so there needs to be healthy communication and boundaries around these thorny topics.

I have noticed amongs Indians there is this incessant desire to Westernise rather than blend our cultures and accordingly modernise. As I always like to say no point in throwing the baby out with the bath water. There are many beautiful things in our culture we don?t need to give that up to become modern members of society.

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Source: http://www.brownpundits.com/2012/07/31/what-is-happening-to-the-indian-joint-family/

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