Miguel Ruiz, Jr.: A Walking Away Point

In the last two years of my college days, I learned a phrase from my fellow classmates that has helped me refocus my attention in moments of stress, especially when a deadline was looming over us. We referred to it as the "walking away point." Unlike procrastination, where my attention is hooked by anything other than the project that I should be working on, the "walking away point" is a moment where we hit a mental wall on a project and lose our focus. We need to walk away to clear our minds.

Stress can make us press forward without recognizing the wall, but the quality of the work suffers because we no longer see the project with clarity. The "walking away point" is the moment we become aware of this wall and we make a choice to shift our attention, in order to detach from the stress, onto something that allows us to relax and open up our perception of what we are doing.

So, here is what I do now with my "walking away point." I save my project on my computer and I shut it down, or put it to sleep, and set a timer for five or 10 minutes and I walk away. The purpose is to find something that completely takes my attention away from the project, and engage in a moment that allows me to feel alive.

• Make Myself A Quick Meal

  Make myself a quick meal, if I am hungry, with complete awareness of every step I take in creating the dish. When I am done, I sit down and close my eyes and take a deep breath; as I switch the focus of attention on the creation of the meal, to focusing on the flavors, I give thanks and I eat. While enjoying every flavor and texture in every bite, everything feels right in my world and it makes me feel at peace with gratitude.

• Have A Cup Of Coffee

  Have a cup of coffee with my wife and engage her in a conversation about anything. Enjoying the relationship she and I have allows me to be aware of our love.

• Go For A Quick Walk

  Put on my headphones and go for a quick walk around the neighborhood. The combination of listening to music while moving my body always makes me feel young and alive.

• Play Music

  I go over to my son's drum kit and play the drums for a bit. Though my talents are limited, playing a simple rhythm allows me to experience joy in the moment.

• Play With Kids

  Join my kids in play, their laughter and smiles bring me back to this present moment of having fun. My stress recedes as a smile comes in as I remember what is important in my life.

When the timer goes off, I disengage from the moment and go back to my project. From there, all these ideas start pouring in, sometimes a new sense of direction is found, or the path that I was already one becomes clear again. But what is for sure, I can see again.

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